Sounds familiar? It could be a plot of land that you wanted to sell. Then, you meet someone you know well. In passing, you mention it. And you hear back that a relative was looking for just such a piece of land and just committed to another seller.
It is quaint; the timing of it. If only you had met your friend a week
earlier, you would be sitting pretty with a handsome bank balance to commit to
a trip abroad, pay off a debt, or invest in an instrument guaranteed to yield a
huge return.
And this repeats itself quite often at critical junctures of
our life. It could be a medical emergency. We reach out to our closest friend
or a relative, but that one person who could really help completely slips our
mind. That lapse sets off a chain of events with no end in sight.
Sometimes the parameters we choose to make a decision seem
logical and right; it turns out horribly wrong with a litany of woes that
follow, leaving us completely distraught and on slippery ground, leading to
more such errors of judgement.
Why does this happen?
We are full of ourselves. There is not a sliver of a chance
that we give ourselves to entertain another point of view. Especially those
closest to us – of whom we think the least. Over time, we develop an attitude
that pigeonholes certain people as not worth listening to. They don’t rise to
our intellectual standards. All wisdom is enshrined in us.
What is lacking in us? Humility and openness to hear each
one out. Give due respect to even those with whom we are generally in
disagreement. This one time, they may be the shell carrying the kernel of
truth.
You would have been exposed to such a situation too. That
advice, direction, and caution could have saved you a lot of grief. On the
other hand, poor you, you did not take the suggestion and plodded on, only to
discover how right the person was. But your pride did not allow you to admit
it. The person watched and pitied you. Your unrelenting nature would not admit
you could be wrong. A missed opportunity to repair a relationship that has been
on the rocks because of your crustiness. Possibly forever losing the loved one
because of your unwillingness to change. I have been there, and I know how
difficult it is to change our fossilised behaviour toward those we hold in low
esteem. That in itself is an error. We have no such right to cast someone in a
diminished light. But we do it. Our prejudices, biases, and bigotry make us do
exactly that.
Is there a way out of all this?
Yes. Prayer. Only prayer. No physical callisthenics or
intellectual achievements can make us become a better version of ourselves. It
is possible only through prayer and daily reflection. How have we conducted
ourselves with our loved ones, an acquaintance, and with a stranger? Did we
leave them feeling better or worse for the interaction and encounter? Did we
feel remorse, or did we gloat that we let them have it good and proper? Did we
even think it matters how we conduct ourselves, or have we become so dyed in
the wool that nothing can change us?
This is a bondage that needs deliverance. To be saved from a
train wreck of our life. Finding ourselves deathly alone. Everyone we know has
fled from our presence. That should be a relief for someone who does not take
advice well. Really?
We will not know, for no one is in touch with such a person.
Is all lost? No. There will always be someone – perhaps the
one most hurt by this person. Because of who dwells in that person – will still
reach out unafraid of the rebuke that may come their way – in hope, faith, and
love – just so that the person is not lost to perdition because no one cared. Our
incentive, if that is at all needed, is our salvation.
Why us? Because we are not that person. We do not want to be
that person. But tragically we have also become that person. We too do not
care, as that person never did, about our counsel and advice.
Who is the person who dwells in us? It is Christ. He has
shown us it is doable. He did it. Christ suffered humiliation. He was taken to
the brink to be thrown off the cliff because the synagogue officials did not
like what he said or what he claimed to be. They would not listen.
What did Christ do? He willingly went to the Cross. He did
what they wanted. He not only gave but also forgave. Christ is the
treasure for which we should be willing to sell everything we have – just to
have Christ – Mt 13:44-45.
It is like the story of the king who announced to his people
that they could come to the palace and take away anything that they were the
first to touch. Pandemonium prevailed. The king sat on his throne and watched.
He spied a little girl coming toward him. She touched him. She said, “If I
have you, I have everything”.
If we have Christ, we have everything. The decisions we make
will be the right ones. We may suffer, but his “strength will be with us in our
weakness” (2 Cor 12:9). We will reach out, and we will not discriminate. We
will be able to distinguish between good and bad advice. We will know who to
ask to set us on the right path.
We will not fall for the tricks of the evil spirit like Eve
did. Nor will we hide from our nakedness as Adam and Eve did, not taking
responsibility for what they did but pinning it on someone else. The moment
they gave in to temptation, they had fallen. But there is time between being
tempted and falling into temptation - (Gen 3:4-11)
That is the moment we must seek, and we do so in the Our
Lord’s Prayer, “Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from all evil”.
Amen.
P.S I am reminded of a poem by Rudyard Kipling: If—
The first two stanzas read:
If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing
theirs and blaming it on you. If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you;
But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be
tired by waiting; Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies, Or, being hated,
don’t give way to hating; And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master; If
you can think—and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with Triumph
and Disaster; And treat those two impostors just the same; If you can bear to
hear the truth you’ve spoken; Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or
watch the things you gave your life to, broken; And stoop and build ’em up with
worn-out tools:
-
Mathew Anthony
No comments:
Post a Comment