You can do better by tapping into what costs nothing but is just as euphoric
A friend from my youth migrated to Canada. When he arrived in Canada, my friend had to apply for permanent residency at the Canadian Consulate. There was a smorgasbord of paperwork, a strip search of the person’s credentials, intended to unearth malfeasance.
The young lady processing my friend’s papers arched her eyebrows frequently as she read his submission. My friend got increasingly nervous. Then her forehead furrowed, and she looked at my friend’s puppy-like face, desperate to be let out- I mean, let in- then back to the paper, then back to him.
My friend’s face took on a strange pallor, drained of red blood corpuscles. The room seemed to cave in on him. She circled a few more paragraphs, looked at my friend, said, “Excuse me”, abruptly got up from her chair and dashed to another room. My friend imagined being manacled and frog-marched back to the airport to be deported. She came back. Stamped the papers and said, “Welcome to Canada”.
Was it the strain or the joy of being welcomed? He did the unpardonable. He asked her out. Can you believe that? Nor did she. Just coffee, he said. He pointed to his contact number on the papers she was holding. Many have had their visas cancelled for such impropriety. She said I will call you. They met, had coffee, and chose to live their life together. Fairy tale?
No. They bonded over the tension the Consular Officer caused my friend, the relief on his face, and his blazoned boldness. They also had family back home in India. She studied in Calcutta before migrating to Canada. Importantly, they both liked to travel and explore.
Now retired and living on savings and Social Security, they completed the full Camino Francés, a 500-mile walk from France to Santiago de Compostela, Spain, this year. Now they are considering walking from Portugal to Santiago de Compostela.
Another acquaintance of mine regularly does the Himalayan Trek with his three or four friends every year. A similar profile: retired, ‘have-money-will-travel’, healthy enough to take on hazardous roads in their souped-up 4-wheel drive, with agreeable spouses who let them do their thing once a year. One other goes deep-sea diving with his family, cycles through Europe, goes on cuisine-tasting jaunts around the world. Another two flew for a living; now live to fly. Travel and experience to reward themselves. Add on food and elements of risk.
I live their journeys vicariously, a rich euphemism for envy. One way not to envy is not to desire. Quell it before it takes root. Stanch it out if it does take root. Don’t be miserable because you can’t. Make it a ‘don’t want to’. There are richer pursuits to chase in life that cost next to nothing. Live vicariously in your writing, dancing, singing, walking, talking, serving, being you.
Envy can be gnawing and crippling. “A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.” (Proverbs 14:30) We wallow in the self-induced pain and misery. ‘They can, and I cannot’ syndrome.
It can even get worse. “For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.” (James 3:16) “You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet, but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight.” (James 4:2)
Ecclesiastes warns us, get over it: “And I saw that all toil and all achievement spring from one person’s envy of another. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.” (Ecclesiastes 4:4)
Envy is not parting with what you have, but wanting what others have. To have your cake and eat it too.
Blessings come from complete dependence on God. The belief that He will provide. I have travelled Business Class, all expenses paid, overseas for work. And places like Moradabad, not likely to be on any tourist’s itinerary for India. I have done over 1000 flights, entering and exiting airport concourses week after week, all on work, and because I was bi-located between Bangalore and Mumbai.
If you have a ‘breaking-at-the-seams’ bank balance and can fly Business Class on your own money, would you tip your hat to God for the privilege, which was always my dream, having only travelled economy all my life? When you have it all, why would you want God?
Perhaps poor health, a colossal business failure, or a motivated raid on assets by an opponent envious or vengeful of your success? This is not a bug, but a feature that besets rags-to-riches businessmen, in particular. The flip side of envy. You may not be envious, but someone else is. Both are lethal. Do we turn to God at least in these times? Or do we blame God for what happened? Or do we brazen it out, showing the same toughness that helped garner the wealth in the first place? Does humility have utility in our survival toolkit?
Humility is a sine qua non to allow God to work in our lives. It is the all-conquering quality of overcoming all forms of adversity. Envy is a sneaky emotion that creeps into our hearts without us noticing. It often leads us down a path of bitterness, causing us to overlook the countless blessings we already have in our lives. By recognising the nature of envy, we understand it’s not just a personal struggle but a spiritual one too.
The Bible warns us about the dangers of harbouring envy in our hearts. It can distort our perspective, twist our values, and lead us to unwise decisions. When we let envy dominate our thoughts, we risk losing sight of what truly matters—our relationship with God and our love for others. By reflecting on these scriptures about the nature of envy, we can better guard our hearts and strive for contentment in our own unique journey.
- Mathew Anthony
