Reflections - Family Work Life and Christianity

Family, Work Life and Christianity

Strike the balance to multiply the joy

First of all, though you have distinguished yourself as a professional you have made yourself outstanding as a family man in this age -- with FIVE children. Would you choose such a big family if given a rewind of your life? Why?

That’s a rich tribute and may God be glorified rather than me. I have always valued family life, but never imagined it would come in such abundance. I valued ‘prosperity’ to the extent that it met our basic needs, and our heavenly Father ensured we have what we need – and of course, more than what we need. Our God wants us to have the very best in life, but with our strange ideas (and driven by the trend of the day) we often become a stumbling block to His plan in our life and deprive ourselves of his grace, mercy and free gifts.

Given a rewind of our lives, we would have these lovely five children all over again. How can we not when we have seen them in flesh and blood? Part of the challenges of faith is to believe in what you cannot see. We had our apprehension about having five children, but like wealth, which nobody in right mind will refuse, we too accepted the challenges of raising a large family. I must say God has been good and has supplied all our needs and continues to do so. We do not feel the pinch of raising a large family. Yes, it does put a strain on our time (more so for my wife) and often we are not able to do the things that we want to do. But, a smile and a hug from our little ones more than compensates for it. When our children grow into adulthood and have their children we are in for some rollicking times. 

As a busy executive religion surely makes demands of your already tight schedules -- How do you make time for Christ?

I attend daily mass. I always say an intercessory prayer before leaving home for all whom I know and who have asked for my prayer. When I am with the family, the family rosary in the evening is a must. I get the Daily Gospel in my email box and I read it almost every day. I have a good stock of books – Bishop Fulton Sheen, President Jimmy Carter Sunday School Lessons etc. I write for the Renewal Voice and give the occasional talk on the Word of God. That calls for some intensive study. I read Zenit the Vatican eNewsletter nearly every day and by subscribing to other biblical newsletters like The Berean, I am in touch with commentaries on the Word of God.  

And, last but not the least, God's praise is always on my lips irrespective of whether a good or bad thing has occurred to me in the course of the day. When I am alone, I reflect on various issues and the divine plan for all of us. I am able to spontaneously share these reflections with groups of people when we gather to pray. Through all this, do I feel I spend quality time with Jesus? The answer is no and I would like to correct it sooner than later.

The most important question: Why Christ? Is He really a crucial factor in your life? 

There was a time that I was a Sunday Christian and a good one. I was involved with Parish activities including doing a one-hour slide show on Good Friday for nearly three years at a Bombay parish. I did not know Christ until I attended a retreat by Jose Anathanam in 1993. The retreat opened my eyes to the Word of God. I had never owned or read the Bible before.  After the retreat, the Bible became a constant companion. I read, and reflect, and connect Christ to the daily events of my life. I cannot imagine life without Christ. He is as real to me as my parents, my wife or my kids. I almost have a life-like relationship with Him and He with me. At one point, before my encounter with Christ, I did forsake the Church and tried to know more about Hinduism, Nirvana, and all that rishi stuff, but the pull of Christ brought me back to The Truth, The Way and The Life.

As a person who interacts with the Ambanis, among others, what do you think sets apart a real Christian from others? 

Let me answer in the spirit of the question that in my line of work I do meet some very important people (but have not met the Ambanis). Frankly, everything comes down to values. Business is about relationships, but better understood as being about money. There is a right way of making money and a wrong way. As a Christ-centered person rooted in the Word of God, there should be no confusion about the decision we need to take when confronted with contentious issues. However, we may choose to behave otherwise, not just in the case of business but also in our day-to-day life with respect to other relationships. 

As a Christ-centered person, you will feel convicted when you do wrong. We need to seek forgiveness and resolve never to make the wrong choice again. In the process, we mature as a Christian and begin to witness Christ with our life and commence the redemptive process in someone else's life. So, a real Christian is set apart when he or she takes a course that goes against the flow, not just for the sake of it, but because of the deeply cherished beliefs, which if need to be, can be explained to those who may seem affected by it.

Why do you think the world needs Christian executives at the top of the Corporate world? 

With money comes power to influence. Global corporations today rule the world, not presidents and prime ministers. The latter come and go. Corporate chieftains have long innings to do good or damage with immense wealth and power at their command. A corporation with Christian governance philosophy can do a host of good to reduce inequality in the world in every area of life. We know with right values comes prosperity. It may take time but it will come in abundance and stay forever. The Catholic Church is a great example of that. We need lot more John Paul IIs as Corporate honchos in the world of today.

What would be your warning and advise for Christians who are on the way to the top in the Business world?

Have the conviction of John Paul II. Say it without mincing words, but carry the people with you with a life that stands testimony to the belief. The young loved John Paul even though they did not buy into his views on contraception, abortion, family planning etc. The ability to balance convictions with driving business success is key to reaching the top of the corporate ladder for a Christian. Having convictions but delivering failures is no use to anyone. Several of the American Presidents were (and still are) great Christian. Jimmy Carter being one of them.

Interview with Mathew Anthony, General Manager, Rapp Collins India, Mumbai.

Reflection - How God Compensates for Our Lack

How God Compensates for Our Lack

When an American presidential candidate chooses a vice president in the run up to the elections or post winning the elections, he does so with one critical ‘need’ in mind.

Does his choice of the vice-presidential candidate have the competencies and connections to influence the US Congress to support the president in all that he wants to do and achieve during his term?

How critically do we think of this ‘need’ in our own life when choosing a life partner for our ourselves? Do we have a sense of how the person who we are saying ‘yes’ to in holy matrimony will complete us? Are we even aware of the ‘needs’ beyond surface level characteristics, interests, ambitions, education, professional status (and earnings) and family history?

When we have known a person for a long time, perhaps, the need-fit is taken care of. We make the jump accepting the partner’s proposal and then announce to our family of our decision. Then all hell breaks loose or there is quiet acceptance of the ‘surprise’ decision by members of both families. It just the opposite in ‘arranged’ marriages where the family acceptance is as important as the couples accepting each other; in some cases, the family dynamics has a larger role.

When we are in a friendly relationship, each one at the end of the day goes back to their respective homes. However, when we are setting up our home, it calls for a different level of emotional maturity to live together sharing space and jointly possessing everything. We are committed for good and for worse, in sickness and in health, till death do us apart. None can predict the future. But, the future, whatever it is, will make demands; it will test the frailty and strength of the relationship - the bond – which barely 50% of the married couples in the developed economy survive.

What is the missing ingredient that does a marriage apart before “unto death" does’?

The unpredictability of the future and the ‘divinity’ of the couple to honor their marital vows. “Marriages are made in heaven” and on heaven our eyes must be set to find fulfillment in our married life.

When the marriage in indeed conceived in heaven, as it ought to be, we can be assured of God’s provision to sustain the goodwill on the part of both partners to live out their marital vows. When we seek God’s consent and seek his will in the choice of the partner, you can be assured that He will bless with a partner who complements you in what you’re lacking and what is your liking.

Marriage is a Sacrament. There are three who form a covenant. Man, woman, and Jesus.

When a marriage falls apart there is only one reason for it: Jesus the third partner, had not been acknowledged and heeded by one or the other partner or by both the partners.

Jesus stands at the threshold of the ‘new’ home, knocking at the door, asking to come in and sup with the couple, to share His wisdom, and iron out their differences, if any. (Rev 3:20)

In any marriage, when two alien minds come together there are bound to be differences. At the basic level there will be gender level differences, which is natural, but can be a cause for stress in the marriage, if not understood and worked upon by both the partners.

The BIG one is the differences arising from each one’s upbringing. Some have a secure upbringing with nothing much lacking in their life. They tend to be serene, sure of themselves in a nice way, unruffled generally with life’s ups and downs, unless it is something too personal for them and beyond their comfort zone.

Others, who have had an insecure upbringing, tend to be guarded at one level. Providentially though, the same insecurity that pervades their life, also helps them build counteracting strengths that helps them accomplish much in their life.

Some, of course, are beaten by their insecurities and fall prey to all the ills of life. Though some do recover remarkably and are a great source of support for those in similar situations. They are able to empathize. They know the agony of being in a state of perpetual insecurity.

The other manageable differences are really to do with holding diametrically opposite opinion on just about every issue or topic on hand. These could be differences in approaches to child rearing with long-term implications, differences in taste in food or friends, differences in preferred source of entertainment or relaxation, differences in spending and managing expenses, differences in family status - who brings in what to the family kitty … the differences can be ad infinitum … all happening while continuing to be committed to making a life together…until break point … when life becomes unbearable for one partner or both … and its kaput for the covenanted marriage.

We have two biblical examples of marriages that nearly did not happen and needed God’s intervention. We too need to pray for these interventions to have a good God anointed marriage and when we are faced with challenges post our marriage.

It happened to the first family when Joseph learnt that Mary was with child. Archangel Gabriel intervened. (Matthew 1:18-25)

Tobias had to survive the demon Asmodeus who had killed all of Sarah’s previous seven husbands.  Tobias survived thanks to the intervention of Archangel Raphael.

Like Archangel Raphael who stood in the breach for Tobias and Sarah, St Gabriel stood in the breach for Mary and Joseph to bridge and build the relationships.

The two examples are an illustration of the holiness of marriage and God’s direct intervention through His archangels to save covenanted marriages.

Good and long-lasting marriages have some characteristics that bear remembering:

A. The marriage must be permitted and approved by the elders, especially the parents, which is an invitation by the elders and the parents to welcome the couple to each other’s community and to receive their combined blessings – from both the families and the communities. It is a way of giving reverence to the fourth commandment of God: Honor their father and your mother in which rests the promise of prosperity and long life.

These blessings would be both - spiritual and material - to help the couple to set up their own home, since the couple’s individual networth at their age will not be enough – and to that extent their home with the essentials needed becomes that much more welcoming when the parents, relatives and friends visit home – to provide a comfortable stay or reception for them.

B. The couple themselves must sanctify the marriage by giving precedence to prayer and worship – thanking the Lord for the union – before consummation of their marriage, as advised by Archangel Raphael to Tobias and Sarah who diligently obeyed.

It was just not the fish heart and liver on the incense which did the trick of saving Tobias’ life and their marriage, but their thanksgiving prayer which with the incense rose to the heavens making the demon flee from their life and from ever interfering in their marriage.

C. The church sanctifies the marriage in the Eucharistic celebrations through the presence of Jesus as the third partner in the marriage. The couple too must carry that moment in their hearts for their rest of their life. Let not the Eucharistic celebration simply be a photo-op for posterity, rather a living and elevating part of the marriage bond.

D. The children the couple bear should be raised with the tenets of the Christian faith hung like an amulet round their neck – a constant reminder to who they owe their life to, and the blessings they enjoy and the threats that are repelled without their knowing.

E. The differences that will be part of any married couple’s life must be sorted out in prayer before retiring to bed – on the very first night if possible, if not at least the second, but definitely by the third. A delay would only make reconciliation ever so harder with every passing day. And, every day so lived is keeping the Good Lord, locked out from our life, even though He knocks fervently to open the door to Him, so that He can sup with us and rekindle the loving spirit as only He can.

F. Remember as married couples with children, we must aim to be role models to our children and for the community in praise of God Almighty. He is the only reason that marriages remain strong and provide joy that is matchless and cannot be had by any other means.

Marriage is a sacred contract, pure in its purpose "to go forth and multiply", that keeps us connected to God when lived "covenanted" in the shadow of His presence.

Christian Reflections - The Word of God

The Word of God

The Bible is an expanse of land

With no border or end at hand

Its horizon does not dip and rest

But arches up to its heavenly quest

On this land lie countless buried treasures

Not of silver, gold or that you can measure

Each morning before the dawn of light

Arise and perceive the mystic sight

Leap forth like a gazelle on path defined

Let your feet tingle with a surprise find

Behold it is the Lord speaking his mind

Grab the vibrations as they occur

Tune your ears to seize every murmur

Let your mind harness its might

Let your body make it its diet

Let your day be strengthened by His presence

Let your night pass savoring His essence

The spoken Word of God enriches our lives

Every concern, every worry, every tear

He gathers unto Himself to shear

To clothe us that we may never ever fear

But live a life of holiness and cheer