Notes to Myself - Updated 381 Aphorisms

I Have Nothing to Declare Except My Genius

According to legend, the famous wit Oscar Wilde delivered a comically audacious line when he first entered the United States during his lecture tour. A customs official in New York asked him if he had anything to declare, and he supposedly replied: I have nothing to declare but my genius.

 

In the following pages I declare on to myself what i learnt in the course of the day from conversations, interactions, introspections, thoughts and billboards to help me be a better me to myself and others I have had the good fortune to know, interact, and engage with at a personal or professional level.

 

Notes to Myself - End-of-Day Personal Reflections

Thoughts are like soap bubbles; if all air let it float; not, commit to paper to introspect & share

 

ABOUT ME 

1.      I write and so I am

2.      To be a better me to remind myself what transpired today and how I responded 

ACTIONS & REACTIONS 

3.      Every action does not call for a (dis)proportionate response

4.      Not every word said needs a reaction; they do need reflection

5.      Speak words that edify, not crucify; build not destroy; unite not divide

6.      We characterize to denigrate and denounce; playwrights do it only to dramatize

7.      Natures abhors a vacuum so does a comic

8.      A curt reply need not be taken as rejection; but just too busy to write a polite one

ADVICE

9.      The untrodden paths are the remanent of advice not taken

10.  Unsolicited advice is like unwelcome, uninvited visitors

11.  If you wish to flatter ask for advice; it may actually be helpful

12.  Restrain the urge to advise when evidence to back it up is suspect

13.  When tables turn you should be able to digest your own advice

14.  Take advice / assurances only from those with skin in the game

15.  When giving advice ensure the recipient is still in the room mentally  

16.  Open people’s mind to possibilities to clarify not to confuse

17.  When someone says be positive, they are saying it is a hopeless case

18.  When you give advice or preach hear out the counterpoint fully and move on

ART

19.  The pen is mightier than the sword in the hands of an artist

20.  When an artist does a portrait, it is the trait that he hopes to portray

21.  A picture speaks a thousand words, a cartoon telegraphs it 

BEHAVIOUR

22.  For some people queue curiously is what other people stand in

23.  For some to admit they could be wrong is tantamount to a heresy

24.  What annoys us we project on to others; while being no different

25.  People provide color to their present good behavior by extolling their bad past

26.  Redemption is a reward for being really bad

27.  Model the behavior you wish to see in people around you

28.  Give benefit of doubt to the person who’s behavior may seem unkind momentarily

BELIEF & OPINION

29.  Have strong opinions – loosely held

30.  On matter of principles hold firm; on matters of opinions go with the flow

COMMUNICATION

31.  Learn to express yourself so as not to be the sole proprietor of your problems

CONDUCT

32.  Avoid gossipers, naysayers and doomsdayers – good chance you will be too

33.  Be humble and open to correction

34.  Submit not to fear, only to good sense

35.  Act with caution not from fear

36.  Procrastinate if nothing is to be gained from acting on it

37.  Be available

38.  Be still and let the world catch up

39.  Value people, not property

40.  Be well informed not to be misinformed

41.  Take work seriously – not self

42.  Learn to laugh at oneself – not at others

43.  Be free spirited but care for your soul

44.  Make friends easily but confide in few

45.  Don’t gossip - it will come to bite you at the most inopportune time

46.  Toil and enjoy the spoils; sleep and invite starvation

47.  When Spirit is willing, tame your flesh to follow

48.  Don’t give in until there is no way out

49.  Never miss a chance to have a hearty laugh

50.  Want nothing and you will need nothing

51.  Take risks; calculated and controlled

52.  When in doubt, stop

53.  Don’t fear to live; nor fear to die

54.  Eat to live; not live to eat

55.  When in error, admit and move on

56.  Know when being provoked; learn to calibrate response to diffuse bust up

57.  One good deed a day keeps the doctor away

58.  Let joy follow you like a shadow

59.  To receive, first give

60.  Work to smile; frowning needs no effort

61.  Keep your family close; to help or be helped

62.  Stuff happens, stay calm, head down, move on

63.  To cushion a fall be hands-free

64.  Review the day before you sleep, make good where you fell short

65.  When served lemon make lemonade

66.  Don’t fuss over matters whose resolution is fuzzy

67.  Render to others what you would have rendered to your self

68.  Go the extra mile; just in case you have fallen short of the measure

69.  Return in kind what you failed to convey in words

70.  Cherish what you have, desire not what you don’t

71.  Be quick to apologize, you just may be in error

72.  To err is human, to forgive divine

73.  Don’t let people get under your skin; wear a caustic people repellant

74.  Be a person of no guile; neither be beguiled

75.  Politeness creates a magnetic field of attraction

76.  Your eyes are telling of your will and intent

77.  Disagree, but be not disagreeable

78.  Better to bite the tongue than wallow in regret for an unkind, unwarranted word

79.  Often a pinch of humility can avert a heap of trouble

80.  Reserve criticism and instructions; allow people find their space and take control

CONSUMERISM

81.  With prosperity comes disposability

CORPORATE SPEAK

82.  Being non-committal: “This is great. Let’s flesh out your document further”

83.  When team is to be disbanded a ‘Thank you speech on a project’ signals it

CRITICS

84.  Critics don’t create; they bask in another’s creation by promoting their view

85.  People who fail to create but know what it takes perhaps make for good critics

86.  Critics co-create when they do their job well; every new edition is a better version

87.  Critics and creators can cartelize to mutual gain if not for the discerning audience

88.  Press on unperturbed until the critics see it your way or nobody sees it their way

89.  Creating for self is satisfying; creating for an audience is chilling but thrilling

90.  Critical analysis from extensive study and criticism out of ignorance vastly differ

91.  Criticism is important to drive excellence or what you hive is mediocrity

CURIOUSITY

92.  Be curious about how life works not how other people lives are except to do good

DEATH

93.  When inert, a person becomes a body

94.  From dust we have come and to dust we shall go

95.  Passage from life to death is a step up from the earth to the heaven

DECEPTION

96.  When looks deceive sniff it to know for sure – try with pepper powder

DOING

97.  To get things done a dash of daring is the secret sauce

98.  To dispel darkness, strike a match, light a candle, let the glow liberate you

99.  We need to do what is in our capacity, often beyond our known abilities

100.                   In life very little is guaranteed, less so if you haven’t even tried

101.                   When you eat less, you eat less; when you eat more, you eat more

102.                   You gain energy from expending it; conserving it leads to gain of fat

103.                   Do when it needs to be done

104.                   Develop your brain, cultivate your values - your body will take care of itself

105.                   Make friends of your enemies; do them good so as not to be undone by them

106.                   When you donate blood, your body returns the favor with interest

107.                   Expressing love has zero production cost; the returns stretch to eternity

108.                   After a loss lick your wounds for a bit, after victory sit not on your laurels

109.                   As you live for today prepare for tomorrow too

110.                   Don’t force outcomes, it may be against your interest

111.                   Excellence is a habit; tardiness too

112.                   Housekeeping begins at home

113.                   For wind in your sail, exercise your will in consonance with God’s will

114.                   You can push the envelope but know it will still be stationery

115.                   Rue not the chores of the day; frightening to wake up and have nothing to do

116.                   Don’t have to control everything and everybody; just yourself for starts

DO’S AND DON’TS

117.                   When you get a cut that makes you look like a nut, delight in it, don’t fight it

EMOTIONS & REASON

118.                   Emotions lead to action; reason leads to conclusion

119.                   Reason and logic are impediments to hearts melding 

120.                   With rare exceptions, most things of self-important nature are just that

ENTREPRENEURSHIP

121.                   Make bets without betting the company

122.                   Biggest nightmare for an entrepreneur: running out of money

123.                   Failure is a friend and a stepping stone to sustainable success

124.                   Fear of failure can be a driver or a paralyzing force

125.                   Do not fear failure; fear not having tried

126.                   Media attention is double-edged should failure follow resounding success

127.                   Living under the looming shadow of a patriarch can be stunting for Vit D lack

128.                   Own Vision, Values, People, Product, Process, Communication, Capital

129.                   Solve real life problem in the market that customer really love

130.                   Do things not for scale but for 100 customer who will fall in love with it

131.                   Launch Minimum Viable Product (MVP) with one feature to facilitate testing

132.                   When young start something of your own; gravity won’t let you when old

EXPECTATION

133.                   Get the process right, the outcome will follow; not always as you wished

EXERCISE

134.                   Don’t be stuck on your seat; talk on your feet

FAITH

135.                   Only three things matter – love, hope, and faith

136.                   The widow’s mites are the ultimate in giving 

137.                   Blessings are returning boomerangs; so are curses

138.                   What God says is; once spoken it is done

139.                   What comes from God’s mouth, like rain to the earth, accomplishes it purpose

140.                   For what does it profit to gain the whole world, but suffer the loss of your soul

141.                   Hope that does not disappoint is preceded by suffering and perseverance

142.                   In as much as we do, we gain; not everything has to be done for profit

143.                   Be not delusional: Angels will not hold you up if you jump off a cliff

144.                   God does not shield us from temptations, but he arms us to repel it

145.                   Temptations come in all forms auto-filled, if you press ‘Ok’ it’s hard to undo

146.                   Accidents and coincidences are God’s way of steering you on to the right path

147.                   Give thanks in all things; you will never know what you have just been spared

148.                   Farmers sow seeds, the harvest in in God’s hands; sowing is key

149.                   God cannot be rushed; He is not your spouse

150.                   Pray, discern, act, accept, repeat – all will be well with you

151.                   Belief drives outcome; those who Jesus healed believed a priori

152.                   God in His providence takes care of the particulars

153.                   When you pray you join forces with a higher being to triumph over evil

154.                   Ask, you will receive, seek, you will find, knock, doors will be opened

155.                   Renew your mind not to fall victim to the pattern of this world

156.                   All who labor and are heavy laden; Christ invites to seek his rest

157.                   Do not be afraid; only believe

158.                   Go forth your faith has healed you; to the ears of the healed it is joy unbound

159.                   Faith is the substance of things hoped for, evidence of things not seen

160.                   Ask God to be a light to your path and a lamp to your feet

161.                   Greatness does not lie in conquest of power, but of hearts

162.                   Judge not and you will not be judged; forgive and you will be forgiven

163.                   Persist - your prayers could be a whisker away from its realization

164.                   Just as ointment cure; prayers heal

165.                   God’s love is not conditional, but unrestrained and immeasurable

166.                   What you give is banked in heaven and in the hearts of the receivers

167.                   We cannot pick on God for not giving us what is not in his plan for us

168.                   When prayers are not answered, take it that it is answered

169.                   Fear not, but believe

170.                   For with the measure you use, will be measured back to you

171.                   God gives: Full measure, pressed down, shaken together, flowing over

172.                   Pride precedes a great fall

173.                   Out of the mouth of babes and nursing infants God has perfected praise

174.                   From the fullness of the heart the mouth speaks; insulate your heart from filth

175.                   God does not give up on us; we give up on ourselves

176.                   Wait upon the Lord to renew your strength; mount up with wings as eagles

177.                   A prophet is not without honor except in his own home

178.                   Sacrament of confession provides clarity of mind and reprieve from confusion

179.                   What goes into our mouth does not make us unclean; what comes out could

180.                   Shame of Adam/Eve sin was visited on Jesus in His suffering and Crucifixion

181.                   Jesus, blind-folded was asked to prophesize who slapped Him; mocking acme 

FEEDBACK

182.                   Giving and receiving feedback is an art and so only artists indulge in it

183.                   When you have given feedback and still remain friends that’s good job done

184.                   We pardon errors of whom we love; punish who we hate for none committed

185.                   It is unnerving to give feedback when every comment points back

186.                   Feedback is not a return invite to dinner but some do feel like lunch

187.                   Feedback ratings are scaled to resources available for increments

188.                   Feedback is an annual event for none can bear it more than once

189.                   Work assessed critically by bosses is giving feedback; it should be routine

190.                   Providing feedback is critical to business success; easy to tell who does it well

191.                   Good feedback chisels just the rough edges while keeping the body intact

192.                   People seeking criticism of their work hope there will be dollops of praise too

193.                   To make a sandwich feedback slip a negative between two positives

FORESIGHT

194.                   In hindsight everyone sounds brilliant; what’s valuable is foresight

195.                   Plan for what you have in plenty not to scavenge when scarce

FRIENDSHIP

196.                   Friendships are like umbrellas at workplaces; check at the door and proceed

197.                   Like a pen that enhances your writing, a good friend helps your life blossom

GROWTH

198.                   Change does not bring growth; but growth does bring change

199.                   There is no right moment to start; start and make it right

HAPPINESS

200.                   Happiness is a state of not having problems; joy despite it

201.                   Happiness is not the absence of problems, but your ability to deal with it

202.                   Have a grateful heart; and you gift yourself a life of absolute bliss

203.                   An amazing side effects of a broad smile is it makes too people happy 

HURT

204.                   Past hurts fade away reluctantly; past favors, ungraciously

INVESTING

205.                   Create appreciating assets; not debilitating debt

206.                   A penny saved is a penny earned; a penny found is a penny lost

207.                   Expect to live long so plan for it now

208.                   In business revenue is vanity, profit is sanity, cash is reality

JUDGEMENT

209.                   An argument has two sides and one truth; the better argued wins

LEARNING

210.                   Sharper your depth of learning, deeper your grasp of the subject

211.                   It is the many ‘noes’’ that make a fabulously better ‘yes’

212.                   Supply is abundant; click only on content you wish to be served more of 

213.                   Best proof that you have learnt, is your ability to teach from what you learnt

214.                   To know you know your ‘physics’ as a scientist try explaining it to a barmaid

LIFE TODAY

215.                   Smartphones monitor your movement like ankle bracelets a felon

216.                   Smartphone pings impinge

217.                   With voice commands the finger is the new appendix

218.                   Virtual meets are seeing a renaissance in multitasking off-camera

LISTENING & TALKING

219.                   Reserve disbelief, for now listen without eyes squinted or raised eyebrows

220.                   Offering undivided attention lowers temperature of a conversation

221.                   Listen with ears open, mouth closed

222.                   Try not to understand what your partner is saying; listening often enough

223.                   Talk less – listen more; less to defend too

224.                   Hear to listen; not to judge; pause and respond; the person may not be done

225.                   Converse, don’t badger and bore

226.                   When harboring unforgiveness we choose our words carefully or we rant

227.                   Let not what you speak be an afterthought

228.                   If conversations spark conflict incline to silence to engender serenity

229.                   It is not what is said but how it is received that ultimately matters

230.                   Bend your ears to clasp whispers of wisdom

231.                   Often sheer cussedness deprives us of goodness God has in store for us

232.                   Slip in don’t butt into an ongoing conversation

233.                   When you say something, say it, and say it again, to ensure it is said

234.                   Sometime sugary sweetness can be grating like sharp crystals

235.                   How do you speak to one short of hearing without sounding obnoxious

236.                   Tough conversations are pregnant with tick-tock of the clock marking silence

237.                   When you want to be heard, first hear

238.                   Some want to only talk; others want to only listen; silence is the only problem

LOVE

239.                   Love casts out all fear; hence fear not and love to a fault

MEMORY

240.                   You gain tenure in people’s minds if your deeds were deposits of joy to them

241.                   Joy is ephemeral; allow it to bubble up often and it can be made life lasting

242.                   Value of a person realized post facto survive only as shards of regrets

243.                   Memory is an underrated asset when young; overrated when old

244.                   A good memory can be a liability if you are known to keep scores 

245.                   We say memory fails us when it we who fail memory by not working at it

MISCONCEPTION

246.                   Being infamous is not the same thing as not being famous

NEGOTIATION

247.                   A good negotiator always leaves something for the other to forge harmony 

PATIENCE

249.                   Have patience; first of all with your self

PAIN & PRAYER

250.                   Pain in some instances can only be relieved by taking on more pain

251.                   Offer your pain as a mercy offering for another worse off

252.                   God heals through His instruments – doctors and medication – and favour

253.                   Don’t dwell on the pain but on His steadfast love, His abundant mercy 

PAST

254.                   We are shaped by the past but we don’t have to be defined by it

255.                   Past is not a great predictor of the future, make most of the present

PERCEIVING

256.                   Light is not the absence of darkness; darkness is the absence of light

PERFECTION

257.                   Executing a ten follows countless failed nines

258.                   Achieving excellence is a process of converting what is a bug into a feature

259.                   Every record set will be broken; Roger Bannister 4-Minute Mile by John Landy

260.                   Strive for perfection for the journey for the destination may stay beyond grasp

261.                   Those who achieve the highest goals have nowhere to go from there

262.                   First screen the achievement of goal in your mind and then make the movie

263.                   Even if you are perfect it helps to keep it a secret if you hope to have friends

264.                   Many have died trying to forge new paths providing safe passage to another

265.                   Perfection is a myth until it becomes a reality

266.                   Since for human to be perfect is inhuman those who perfect are seen as gods

PHILOSOPHY

267.                   50:50 makes 100

268.                   To punch above your weight, you need outsized arms

269.                   When season’s change don’t hang on to quilts but move on to duvets

PLANS

 

270.                   Most botched-up plans are adversarially conceived and poorly synchronized

271.                   All plans implode when they first collide with the enemy

POSSESSION

272.                   Less you have more weighed down you feel; more you have, same

273.                   We are less possessive of our relatives than of their possessions

274.                   On a scale what you don’t possess weighs mightier than all you possess

275.                   We hesitate to part with what we have but unlikely to pay to buy the same

276.                   What is in our possession we price higher than the value a buyer’s places on it

277.                   People will die to defend what theirs; mercenaries only what can be theirs

POSSIBILITIES

278.                   The only impossible journey is the one you have never begun

279.                   Uncertainties /certainties not in our hands; possibilities / probabilities: yes

280.                   Turn your obstacles into opportunities; your problems into possibilities

POWER

281.                   People in positions of power can do good or allow it to be their undoing

PROPAGATION

282.                   A lie repeated is truth defeated

283.                   There is truth and there is conjecture; discern and disseminate

PROBLEM SOLVING

284.                   Problems cannot be solved at the same level of thinking that created it

PSYCHOLOGY

285.                   Public transport is a good antidote to feelings of isolation

PURPOSE

286.                   A ship is safe in the harbor but that’s not what it was built for

287.                   To stay on course, take charge

288.                   Two important days of life: when you are born; when you discover why

289.                   When you have purpose, propellers develop by themselves

290.                   Be led not by your eyes but by your heart; beauty spells not beneficial

291.                   Henri Matisse, painted bed-ridden, for “pain will pass, beauty will remain”

OBSESSION

292.                   Don’t get obsessed to the point you forget what you are obsessing about

READING

293.                   Like inks sticks to paper attentive reading improves memory

294.                   Imagine what you read, don’t memorize, then you can provide your version

295.                   Reading engages multiple muscles, viewing puts them to sleep

296.                   A bookshelf has compacted knowledge, a screen, fleeting

297.                   Well-read is a compliment to you; well-viewed is a compliment to the product

298.                   The more you read the more you discover how ignorant you are

299.                   To read you lean in; to view you lean back; one is an activity, the other, laxity

300.                   When you read a book, you need to light it up; on screen the device

301.                   Perfectly fine to read a book backwards, with screen you got to be weird

302.                   White mode and dark mode represent the transition from book to screens

RELATIVES, FRIENDS & RELATIONSHIPS

303.                   Like water finds its level and flows where it will so a healthy relationship

304.                   Where your treasure is that’s where you heart will be

305.                   Your tone of voice and choice of words sets up the relationship

306.                   Good fences make good neighbors; true of relatives too

307.                   Irony of life: Closest of relatives tend to be the furthest of friends

308.                   We are all born with an inheritance – potential it has - meagre as it may be

309.                   An expertly sawed wedge topples timber; a relationship by a loose tongue

310.                   Thought of food initially draws dinner companions; later the food for thought

311.                   God chooses opposites as an engineer gear that mesh to complete each other

312.                   Some don’t age; it is not that all are born on February 29^th

313.                   As with a quack; do not trust your ability to nurse a grudge to good health

314.                   When relationships sour conversations curdle losing it free flowing nature 

SELF & OTHERS

315.                   Your life is not about you, just saying

316.                   You live only once so get it right; less likely you will get it right in the next

317.                   What tomorrow brings only tomorrow knows; make today count

318.                   Be generous in assessing people; reserve suspicion for the barest few

319.                   Be fair to those you work with; they may be your boss some day

320.                   Project on to people the goodness you see in yourself

321.                   If you wish to receive a favor, preface with doing one first

322.                   Make friends; enemies can be a challenge

323.                   Wake up expecting nothing but the best; retire having got the best

324.                   Be mindful and you will have less on your mind

325.                   Don’t confuse a made-up mind with facts

326.                   Change is a constant so is a vow

327.                   Age is only a number; not quite when it is numbered

328.                   Know thyself; Google does  

329.                   It’s how you are doing on your worst days that mark you for who you are

330.                   When setting expectations for another provide the scaffolding for success

331.                   Success is judged by how many you have helped succeed; not networth

332.                   Unwittingly, and often, we cut our nose to smite our face

333.                   When agitated and peace is being spoken grab it as you would a life-jacket

334.                   Bearing ill will with no apparent benefit to either is a sorry condition of man

335.                   Exercising discretion as better part of valor has saved many a relationship

336.                   Better to lose the argument than the person

337.                   When disappointed look inwards to correct, not outwards to blame

RESPONSIBILITY

338.                   Maturity is when you know what you need to take responsibility for

339.                   Take responsibility for an error of judgement to void its recurrence

SETBACK

340.                   Walk with confidence even when you stumble

341.                   Be the person you are meant to be - not expected to be

342.                   Setback can be a stepping stone to a brighter and more robust future

343.                   Hardships come in two types: peak performance pursuit; depleted resources

344.                   Storms sweep away the decrepit; clears ground to create anew and strong

345.                   A computer virus does for you what you should have been doing for yourself

346.                   Re-engineer when things don’t work out; learning notched are a bonus

SUFFERING

347.                   Do not waste your suffering, but offer it for the salvation of many

348.                   Embrace reality for it has already embraced you

THINKING

349.                   As you think so you are

350.                   Silence your mind when the threads of thought are self-defeating

351.                   Worrying starts when the effort to find a solution meets its end

352.                   Curb your worst instincts and urges within boundaries of your fantasy

353.                   To what you pay attention you give meaning – remember Eve in Eden

354.                   A man is a product of his thoughts; a woman too I think

355.                   Forego giving a ‘piece of your mind’, a sure shot way to gain peace of mind

356.                   Your self-talk is a good measure of your limitations or success

357.                   To worry before it is necessary is to worry more than it is necessary

358.                   Let your pale of worry turn into a flood of relief

359.                   Guard well your thoughts when alone and your words when accompanied

360.                   Count your blessings not your blemishes

TIME MANAGEMENT

361.                   Mind your business; don’t weigh in on matters that is none of your concern

WORK

362.                   Work provides a sense of self-worth; doing nothing transcends the need

363.                   When you sweat over a project tidy it up before presenting

364.                   Work expands to fill time; body expands to fill food; both appear a grind

365.                   To perform with equanimity, detach from the distraction of praise or blame

366.                   Skiing downhill with mind uphill will land you face down on the slope

367.                   Take pleasure in the work for and in itself; results achieved treat as bonus

368.                   When living in the present insulate from past and future gains and losses

369.                   Not taking action is still taking action; it does not absolve from blame

370.                   Navigating workplace hitherto foreign calls for skills to be learnt on the job

371.                   What got you here will not get you there without rework and relearn

372.                   Your value comes from value you deliver; what you are paid is priced into it

373.                   Those who take a pay cut for a challenging assignment gross manifold in time

374.                   When we look for a job, we are trading off on not creating a job

375.                   Job satisfaction is a misnomer

376.                   Some with physical presence build that others with mental absence destroy

377.                   Wake up in the morning ready to go or waking up is an effort in vain

378.                   Work to an end, if lost, track back and start again, repeat till end in sight

379.                   At work when a boss suggests an action, he is politely signaling get it done

380.                   Passive-aggression is the new caste system in multicultural environment

WORRYING

381.                   In life you will have trouble, when you worry you make it double

382.                   When you lose something know you don’t have to take care of it anymore