Reflections - Living in the Moment

Living in the Moment

When making life-altering decisions

What does it mean to ‘live in the moment’? This phenomenon is best exemplified by Mahendra Singh Dhoni (MSD), the swashbuckling Indian Cricket Captain, with near universal recognition and appeal, even among those who do not follow the game of cricket.

MS Dhoni won the country many matches across T20, One-Day and Test Cricket including World Cups. On the field, he had an expression of deep concentration. It was like a mask stuck to his face. None could read his emotions. He did not show any. May be when a wicket fell. I suspect more as encouragement for the bowler or catcher of the ball.

Contrast Dhoni on-field demeanor with Virat Kohli, the present Indian captain after Dhoni. Even when Dhoni took decisions that swung matches in India’s favor, the expression on Dhoni’s face was one of a routine decision. It was very rare that he said or did something that went against the grain of who he was - ‘Captain Cool’.

Dhoni was asked by a sports reporter once, “How is it that you are always so cool and collected even in cliffhanger matches?”

Dhoni’s answer was a simple one. “I live in the moment.”

Let’s understand more deeply what that remark meant by giving an example from the inaugural 2007 ICC World T20 against Pakistan at the Wanderers Stadium, Johannesburg, South Africa. It was the finals. That too with Pakistan. The emotions in both countries border on jingoism.

It was MS Dhoni's first assignment as the captain of the Indian cricket team. Misbah-ul-Haq, was at the crease with No. 11 batsman Mohammad Asif. The last over, the last wicket, and 13 runs stood between victory and defeat for India.

Dhoni had to choose between Harbhajan Singh (Bhajji), a tried and tested bowler, and Joginder Sharma, a less experienced bowler, but who had one key skill – he could bowl, unflinchingly, exactly at the same spot - all six balls of the over. Dhoni felt that Harbhajan Singh (Bhajji) was not 100% sure of getting yorkers in the death over.

Dhoni chose Joginder Sharma and gave him the ball with the very reassuring words and definite instructions. “Bowl this over and we will get him out. Don’t bowl according to the batsman playing his shots, but stick to your strength.”

Joginder had studied Misbah’s batting style well and knew Misbah was prone to scooping the ball to the boundaries. Joginder was a swing bowler. The ball was swinging big. He was confident that he would get him out. Dhoni’s ability to read the situation and the talent he had was unmatched and was one of Dhoni’s greatest strengths.

The first ball from Joginder was a wide which proved the extent of pressure Joginder was under. He then produced a dot before being hit by a six by Misbah down the ground.

Even though Misbah had hit Joginder for a six on the second ball of the over, Joginder stuck to the plan bowling on the off stump. Misbah was ready for his stroke. All indications to Joginder was that Misbah was planning a scoop.

Joginder took a judgement call. He changed the length and lowered the speed. Misbah thought it would be a fast ball. With six needed from the last four balls, Misbah tried to improvise and wanted to scoop the ball over the short fine-leg fielder who was standing inside the circle.

Had the ball been quick, like the last three balls (including one wide) that Joginder had bowled, it would have gone over Sreesanth. But, since the ball was slower than normal, when Misbah hit the ball it went up and comfortably landed in Sreesanth’s hands. India won with three balls to spare.

Coming back to MS Dhoni and his remark, “I live in the moment”, what exactly did he mean?  Dhoni has been reported as saying that when the match is on he does not concern himself with the outcome – win, loss or draw.

He focuses on the moment.

What exactly is happening? Why is it happening the way it is? What does he (Dhoni) need to do at that moment to change the course of the match in his favour? Given the conditions, what’s the talent that he has on hand? Which talent can make a difference to sway the match in his favour? And, exactly what does the talent have to deliver at that moment?

When you read the narration above you can sense the answers going - pop, pop, pop - in Dhoni’s head that led Dhoni to give Joginder Sharma the ball.

What, then, is the notion of living in the moment?

Living in the ‘moment’ means that you are not slave to the ‘unchangeable’ past nor are you captive to an ‘undeterminable’ future.  You are completely focused on the present moment. You are able to achieve a level of zen-like ‘mindfulness’.

Partly because your preparation before an event is meticulous. Dhoni, for instance, would have studied the previous India-Pakistan matches and the proclivities of the players on both sides and drawn the necessary lessons from it.  Dhoni and Joginder knew that Misbah liked to play the scoop shot.

The emotions of an uncertain future outcome whether in cricket or in life, depending on your personality type, swings widely from feeling euphoric to feeling abjectly dejected. This was exactly the state of ‘wildness’ or ‘wilderness’ in feelings that Dhoni wanted to pathologically avoid.  

The need was for clear-headedness and crystal-clear thinking. Everything else needed to recede into the background. Other than what was happening in the field at that moment, everything else was completely opaque to Dhoni. The outcome was completely depended on the input at the moment.

The intent and process had to command attention at the moment – not the outcome – as the outcome can only be influenced by the intent and process. It cannot be controlled or mandated.

Each of us can recognize going through such episodes in our life. We are all fundamentally driven by outcomes that we do not control but can only hope that it matches or exceeds our expectations: exam results, job selection, proposal acceptance, medical report, match results. These high-stake events in our life have led to stroke or heart attack in some.

Let’s explore where ‘living in the moment’ or ‘mindfulness’ plays a crucial role in our life. It has a major role in three primary areas and they are in a sense inter-related:

1.   Fostering relationship

2.   Learning

3.   Taking life-altering decisions 

1.   Fostering Relationships through ‘mindfulness’

When we listen attentively to what the other person is saying - not distracted by ambient noise or the mobile phone or something important that you cannot remember - we honour the person. When the attentive listening is mutual it makes for a great relationship. If the conversation is of an emotional nature, listening attentively, demonstrates empathy that can strengthen the ‘other’ without a word being spoken. The worst thing we can do in such situations is provide unsolicited advice.  When we have listened attentively, we can sense some of the aspiration of the ‘other’ and pleasantly surprise the person when the occasion calls for it. It works for everyone’s good. The listener and the communicator in ways beyond our imagination. 

2.   Learning with ‘mindfulness’

There is lot that we can learn from the person when we listen closely including what is unsaid.  Joginder heard Dhoni and executed to the plan. In a business scenario, nothing can be more annoying to a superior when his junior is fidgety, distracted, bored, uninterested, and worse, ‘unmindful’ of the task being discussed leading to only two unfavourable outcomes – the task not being done or done disastrously. This applies to learning too. More can be achieved when we study a subject undisturbed as when competing with other distractions in the environment. 

3.   Taking Life-altering Decisions being ‘mindful’

How do you decide who to marry and build a lifelong relationship? Beyond the externals – colour, weight, height, health and wealth – all of which can change - what should a prospective bride or bridegroom look for in an ideal partner that is not susceptible to aging and circumstances? “The Heart”. “The Mind”. “The Will”. 

But how can that be sensed in cursory meetings between the prospective groom and bride which is how most ‘arranged marriages’ in India happen? In traditional marriages, popping the question “Will you marry me?” in exotic locations rarely happens.  It is the parents of the groom or bride who do the talking. It is more like, “He said, yes” or “She said, yes” to insulate the couple from personal embarrassment of “He or She said, No”.

We need ‘mindfulness’, and if I may add instinct and intuition, to focus on the three ‘sustaining’ factors – the heart, mind and will – to achieve a ‘feel good’ that the prospective marriage will be fulfilling:

1.   The Heart: Does the person come through as kind and caring and concerned about being right with God?

2.   The Mind: Is the person engaging to converse with and has interests that will add new dimensions to the life of the ‘other’?

3.   The Will: Does the person seem like someone who will persist through difficulties to honour the covenanted marriage?

This is idyllic but worth aiming for when the decision is life-altering like no other decision in our life.  Living in the moment, not distracted by what is happening around, will allow each partner to size up the other quickly without prejudice to what the final decision may be.

The ground rules of such contact(s) in traditional scenario should be bereft of the outcome to allow the prospective couple not to feel the pressure that Joginder Sharma felt when his first ball was wide and his second legitimate ball was hit for a six by Misbah.

Keeping your head intact on your shoulders unconcerned by outcomes is ‘living in the moment’.

Christians can learn from Jesus who lived in the moment. While crowds were pressing against Him, He still sensed the power leaving Him when the women with the issue of blood for twelve years touched, not Him, but the helm of his garment. (Luke 8:43-48).

And, it happened repeatedly during His ministry. Spotting Zacchaeus precariously balancing on the tree top to be able to see Jesus or noticing Matthew ‘yielding heart’ in the tax collector’s booth.

Jesus lived in the moment. So, should we even if our mission is not saving mankind from the ‘wages of sin which is death’ and offering the promise of eternal life.

‘Living in the moment’ delivers dividends that no stock on earth can legitimately provide.