Here are my thoughts (hope you're listening):
1. Switch off your mobile
and put it on mute or insulate yourself and the speaker from all forms of
distraction as best as you can
2. Make eye contact with
the person; don't stare at the person
3. Let your posture
suggest you have all the time in the world
4. When someone interrupts
please ask them to wait unless the office is burning down
5. Let the expression on
your face reflect the emotions being expressed by the person (I mean don't grin
when the person is talking about her pain
6. When you have not
understood something ask the person to repeat or clarify so that you have
understood the person fully and correctly
7. Know when the person
has finished speaking
8. State your reaction to
what the person has said: Interesting; wonderful, shocking; fascinating;
enlightening...
9. Follow it up in line
with whatever expression you used; if shocking: so, what happened finally...
10. Resist the temptation
to tell your own story of worse things or better things that have happened
to you; instead ask the person to elaborate further to conclude the subject
including any suggestions or advice; the end goal is to convey to the person
that he or she has been heard and understood, and importantly, it was not a
waste of time for the speaker or the listener ("thank you for
trusting me to share your pain...); as simple as that
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