A Missile for a Missile Leads to Mutual Destruction

 Temperance diffuses

Mathew Anthony

37 minutes ago

October 2, 2026

My wife and I were to visit our grandchild at our in-laws’ home. A difference of opinion arose. My wife wanted to avoid lunchtime. She did not want to burden our in-laws, at such short notice, to cobble together a meal for us too. Such a silly thing to quarrel over, but it escalated into an argument over niceties, visiting during lunchtime, etc.

Of the seven deadly sins (addressed in ‘You Can Pray, But the Darn Thing Persists’ posted on Substack on October 1, 2026), of ‘gluttony’ I cannot be accused; of hunger at mealtime, yes.

I held myself back as my wife went on, a nod to me tempering my ‘explosive temper’ when most regretful words (never foul) emerge unprompted, provoked perhaps. I had to remind myself what happened between Peter and Jesus. Jesus wanted to do His Father’s will. Peter, emboldened or frightened at the prospect of Jesus dying, wanted Jesus to do his will.

From that time on Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life. Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. “Never, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to you!”

Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.” (Mt 16:21-23).

My concerns were merely human. Unintended fasting was not my thing. Hunger should be fed. Not anger. Bangalore’s notorious traffic triggers claustrophobia, a panic attack. When combined, I was staring at a potential disaster of a trip. Of course, our quarrel had potential, but did not come anywhere near what happened on the Flydubai flight, designated FZ1073, carrying 174 passengers—Israeli citizens returning from Dubai to Tel Aviv—when it found itself soaring above the desolate expanse of the Saudi Arabian desert. Just two hours into the journey, chaos erupted in the cockpit, transforming the flight into a scene of horror.

The co-pilot, a native of Oman, initiated a surprise and brutal attack on the pilot, who hailed from Gujarat, India. Armed with a knife, the co-pilot’s sinister objective was to bring the aircraft down, obliterating the lives of 174 individuals flying thousands of feet above the earth. It felt like a direct echo of historical tragedies, a potential reenactment of events like the terrorist attacks of 9/11, fueled by an ideology intended to incite chaos and fear - an act of Jihad.

What ultimately defeated the imminent threat was not just strategy but the extraordinary presence of mind exhibited by an individual, even while he was suffering grave injuries.

I am referring to myself: as I faced my wife’s verbal assault for prioritising hunger over etiquette and courtesy to the host, I prayed, “Lord, allow it to pass”. It would not. Then I sternly said to my wife, “Stop”. I did not say that I was slowly turning into Mount Vesuvius. In 79 AD, Mount Vesuvius, a stratovolcano located in the modern-day region of Campania, Italy, erupted, causing one of the deadliest eruptions in history. My wife stopped. Peace prevailed. I bailed on visiting my grandchild. My wife and son went and had a great time. The restless volcano rested.

Once the hijacker was restrained and the threat neutralised, Captain Machar, despite losing significant amounts of blood and feeling the effects of his injuries, managed to divert the aircraft toward Tabuk Airport in Saudi Arabia.

I wondered what if the flight was over Iran, low on fuel, and was forced to land in Minab.

174 captive Israelites in the hands of Israel’s arch-enemy, Iran. Taken hostage and housed among the families of the 165 schoolgirls and staff killed on a Saturday in what Iran has described as a United States-Israeli attack on a girls’ school in the southern city of Minab.

Instead of using the hostages as tools to end the war, Iran does what Paul in Romans and Elisha in the Book of Kings do. They treat them with great care.

As the enemy came down toward Elisha, he prayed to the Lord, “Make these people blind.” So he made the Aramean army blind, as Elisha had asked. Elisha said to them, “This is not the right road or the right city. Follow me; I’ll take you to the man you are looking for.” Then Elisha led them to Samaria. After they entered Samaria, Elisha said, “Lord, open these men’s eyes so they can see.” So, the Lord opened their eyes, and the Aramean army saw that they were inside the city of Samaria!

When the king of Israel saw the Aramean army, he said to Elisha, “My father, should I kill them? Should I kill them?” Elisha answered, “Don’t kill them. You wouldn’t kill people whom you captured with your sword and bow. Give them food and water, and let them eat and drink and then go home to their master.” So, he prepared a great feast for the Aramean army. After they ate and drank, the king sent them away, and they went home to their master. The soldiers of Aram did not come anymore into the land of Israel. (2 Kgs 6:18-23)

By staying quiet, I made peace with my wife. It was all so unnecessary. My in-laws were not home. There was no question of burdening the hosts. My daughter would have ordered us a meal. I would have got to spend some time with my granddaughter.

But not all was a loss. The Good Lord wanted me to write this reflection as a teaching that Satan is prowling at the door. ^“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” (1 Pe 5:8) Do not return a missile for a missile. It leads to mutual destruction.

Therefore: “If thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink. For in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.” (Rom 12:20). Not to incinerate, but to be filled with the Holy Spirit. To return kindness with kindness.

- Mathew Anthony

Why Do We Fail?

 Because we tried ...

Mathew Anthony

9 minutes ago

October 1, 2026

Keyboards produce a distinct output: a letter or a musical note. To type a word or to score music, we need a set of keys, which are derived from scales. A scale is a sequence of notes, either major or minor, sharps (#) or flats (b).

The English alphabet has 26 letters. A word has to be a combination of two or more letters - vowels and consonants. Repetition of a letter and inverted commas are allowed. Punctuation marks help us navigate through a multitude of words to get the right sense.

There was a time when there were no punctuation marks or paragraphs. Bless the soul who thought of and popularised them, allowing us to read comfortably, instead of mentally inserting punctuation marks to make sense of what is read.

When we speak, unlike when we write, we need to pause to breathe. That’s the oral punctuation mark. Those with enormous lung power can read an entire page without inhaling, whereas others become breathless and need to inhale mid-sentence. This is a good way to write and prevents death by asphyxiation. In a compound sentence, a distinct clause makes one point using a subject, verb and object, followed by a conjunction and another distinct clause to make the sentence intelligible.

This is not always true. Sometimes just one word says it all: “Go”, “Come”, “Hit” and “Vamoose”. Anyone who speaks only one word speaks from authority. The one who uses two, “Get lost”, lacks authority, probably palpitating and at a loss for words. The one who speaks in one word is in control, while the one who speaks in two is not. The one who needs to speak many words to beckon is thoughtless and unbecoming. He is lost in his own verbiage and hopes a kind soul will unravel his words and make them intelligible. The ones who can decipher are sharp. The ones who don’t are flat. The sharp lead, while the flat is the long pole in the tent holding things back.

When our thinking is muddled, so is our life. We cannot get things done through others. We do it ourselves. This happens in families and in corporate life. We become lone rangers. Wordsmiths, articulate in print. In time, great speakers too.

When Aeschines spoke, they said, “How well he speaks“. When Demosthenes spoke, they said, “Let us march against Philip.” David Ogilvy said the purpose of advertising is not to be ‘creative’ but to sell a product.

A leader’s greatest gift is the ability to speak or write. To spark the right action. To marshal the many to get the job done in the least time. Whether sparking a revolution or leading a military force or a company with thousands of workers. A vision articulated eloquently and implemented with finesse promises success. Repeatable until it is not, to conquer territory or political power.

Writing (and speaking) is also great for self-reflection and interrogation. Why do I? Why does he? Why do they? What is behind that thought? What are they seeking? What do I really want? How do I get what I want? How do I get them what they want and profit from giving it?

Mental maths helps too. Would you rather believe I am disliked and be morose about it, or say you are liked if you can be the person they want you to be? Stooping to conquer. Humility over pride. Would you rather believe you are poor than believe you are rich if you can do such and such thing? For that matter, would you rather believe you are unhealthy or believe you are healthy by doing right by your health? This way, you will be what you want to be, not what you don’t want to be. So, what stops us?

We never thought the flip side, the better side, was a possibility. Because we did not try, we don’t know if we could have succeeded. By trying, we at least learnt what failure looks and feels like. Why do we fear to fail? Is it our ego? Are we afraid of confirming what was but a doubt? If success leads to more success and then failure, should not failure lead to more failure and then success? So, what stops us? Staying power or the fear, “I knew I would fail“. Those who succeed say, “I knew I would succeed.”

“Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them.” (Mk 11:23). A religious sister took up Jesus on this verse in the Bible. Nothing happened. “I never believed that it was possible”, she said. Are we too like this sister, trying in disbelief?

Which camp would you rather be in? Of course, the second. Why are you not there? To us, the chasm between success and failure is unbridgeable. Without a bridge, we will fall and perish. Why would we fall? Why can’t I fly? Seagulls do. Never tried. So, what do we know? Those who jumped perished. Would you leap off the cliff into the sea? They fly and don’t die. Really? People jump out of aeroplanes. They don’t die. They have a parachute. To succeed, figure out the equivalent of a ‘parachute’ for that task. To craft an article, figure out the overarching idea, and the words will flow. To make music, learn the language of music: notes, scales, intervals, chords, rhythm, harmony, melody and form, and you will charm the ears off.

Is that difficult? Of course it is. To count failures, you need a calculator. To count successes, your fingers and toes are good enough. So, what does it all come down to? Try harder. More than once. Multiple times. You cannot fail but succeed. If you still fail, it was not for lack of trying. You happened to set the ladder on the wrong wall. Set the ladder on the right wall and succeed in speech and in deed.

Jesus failed. He was the Messiah. Sent by God to save Israel. Instead, he chose the cross. To shed his blood. To redeem the world from sin and damnation. Your failure could actually be your success, not as the world sees it, but as God see it.

- Mathew Anthony

You Can Pray, But the Darn Thing Persists

 For persistence in hope and sanctification

Mathew Anthony

1 minute ago

September 30, 2026

I have an explosive temper. It is like a land mine. It goes off only when someone steps on it. Otherwise, I am a paragon of gentility.

The last time it went off was when my wife was panicking about the lady who potentially had a heart attack and succumbed to it. It was not the case; by the Grace of God.

Over two recent reflections, ‘Let Your Yes Be Yes and No Be No’ and ‘What Were You Doing When It Happened ’, I have referred to this episode.

Why did I explode at my wife? Let’s put it down to male chauvinism. I had suggested a few workarounds to deal with the issue. I retired to bed. When woken up at 4 am, with the issue still on fire, throwing my wife into palpitations, I lost it. Boom!

I have been praying that the Good Lord would take this weakness away. For decades. No help from the Good Lord. If there is a land mine, I will step on it. It will explode. I have to make peace with the notion that it is here to stay. Like St Paul’s ‘Thorn in the Flesh’ issue. (2 Cor 12:7)

Do prayers help? I don’t know. When we are sick, we are sick. We have to live with that sickness for seven or ten days if it is a viral fever, cough or cold. Nothing to be done but take tablets, rest, recuperate, and get better.

Can I do this with my temper? Is there a medication that will take care of it? Do I want to take such a medication? Of course not.

It is event-driven. I cannot control the event. I cannot anticipate the event. It just comes on you. It is like a panic attack or a feeling of claustrophobia when I find myself suddenly surrounded by a lot of people.

It is episodic. I don’t suffer from claustrophobia in the crowded Mumbai Suburban Local trains. Mumbaikars will know what I mean. The trains are a lifeline to this vast island city. When you are a regular commuter on these locals, you get trained in Csíkszentmihályi’s concept of ‘flow’

The ‘flow’ of boarding and disembarking. Discipline is important. The boarder and ‘disembarker’ must stay still, eyeing the train as it streams into the station. Then merge into the tsunami wave. That’s how to embark and alight from a Mumbai Local. They have to be in the flow, not watching as a spectator, but as an active commuter, and you will be on the train.

When you alight, you may be spewed out at the wrong station, not the one you intended to get off at. It is OK. Take the next Local due in 90 seconds. Go with the flow.

I get panic attacks in traffic when the car stops. From the windshield, you can see dots. They are cars, buses, lorries, receding into the horizon, miraculously, without movement. I breathe deeply to gain control. My instinct, if I am being driven, is to get out of the car and walk to the horizon. And let the driver catch up.

Exactly what a surgeon did and became a social media legend: the husband of a doctor who attends to us, who ditched his driver and car. He had a critical surgery in half an hour. He knew that if he jogged, he would arrive on time and skip the gym that day. His wife was cynical about her husband’s theatrics. She said her husband just wanted media attention. Some truth to that. How was he filmed running to the hospital? Hmmm.

I comfort myself that I am, and my fellowmen (I know a few), who have anger-management issues, are in august company. I don’t justify it. I regret it. In fact, I have a deal with God. Every time I transgress, I stub my toe in reparation. Not intentionally. It happens divinely. Like God allowed Satan to trouble Job, likewise with me. (Job 1:6-22) God has been merciful. Only some of my toenails have gone permanently black.

St. Paul and Pope Francis have anger-management issues. Paul’s conduct is enshrined forever in the Word of God. Pope Francis was caught on camera. The news channel went ballistic. It was New Year’s Eve 2020.

The Pope was in St. Peter’s Square after his New Year’s Eve liturgy. He was walking to visit the Vatican’s nativity scene. He was greeting worshippers. After reaching out to touch a child, a woman grabbed his hand and pulled him towards her sharply, causing him to stumble.

Pope Francis appeared visibly angry when the woman did not let go; he slapped her hand to free himself. In his New Year’s Day address, the Pope apologised for the incident. He said: “I apologise for the poor example yesterday”, while speaking about the importance of patience.

A girl followed Paul and cried out, saying, “These men are the servants of the Most High God, who proclaim to us the way of salvation.” And this she did for many days. But Paul, greatly annoyed, turned and said to the spirit, “I command you in the name of Jesus Christ to come out of her.” And he came out that very hour. But when her masters saw that their hope of profit was gone, they seized Paul and Silas and dragged them into the marketplace to the authorities. (Acts 16:17-19)

One can pray for a calm, a sedate, unruffled persona, land mine or otherwise. And we must, for the sake of our family members who bear the brunt of such bad behaviour. Have mercy, O Lord! Having decided to come to peace with not having peace on the issue, I hope I will somehow scrape a modicum of good behaviour sometime in the future. While Anger is my angst, which of the seven deadly sins are yours: Lust, Pride, Envy, Greed, Gluttony, Wrath or Sloth?

- Mathew Anthony

What Were You Doing When It Happened

 

Some regret that they could have been in a better place when it happened

Mathew Anthony

1 hour ago

September 29, 2026

We take pride in our health. Some narcissistically so. What we think is indestructible is only a whisker away from a wheelchair or permanent confinement to a bed. I missed being run down today. A close shave, or is it save? A lady driver was in a mighty hurry. She was overtaking a school bus with just enough space between the bus and me.

The number of accidents on Bangalore roads has jumped because of rash driving (like the lady in question) and potholes. I was side-stepping the potholes; she was over-stepping on the gas. What was I doing at the very moment I was saved?

I was listening to the Divine Retreat Centre Colombo 6.30 am Live Telecast of the Adoration on my way to Church to attend 7.30 am Mass. I go half an hour early to prepare myself for the Eucharistic Celebrations and to set up the altar for the Liturgy of the Word and the Liturgy of the Eucharist on the deacon’s weekly day off.

To what do I owe being saved from the wheelchair or permanent confinement to a waterbed? The lady’s driving skill or divine providence? Both really. God took charge of the steering wheel. For just that moment, the driver had divine anointing, and so did I, for I was in His grace.

In an earlier reflection, ‘Let Your Yes Be Yes and No Be No’, posted on Substack on September 27, 2026, I wrote about my wife and the lady who called in with sharp chest pain. My wife advised the lady to listen to the Divine Retreat Centre UK podcast, which is broadcast live in India late in the evening. The advice was given in faith. The alternative was to rush down at that late hour or ask a relative to check on the lady to assist.

My wife listened to the podcast and fell asleep on the sofa. My wife woke up at 3 am and called the lady’s number to check on her. There was no reply. My wife panicked. Her faith deserted her. Did the lady succumb to the severe chest pain?

The lady was listening to the podcast at home. She, too, fell asleep. She slept so deeply that she did not hear her phone ring when my wife called. When my wife and daughter arrived at her door around 5 am she answered the door. There was nocturnal joy. Mary was visiting Elizabeth during her pregnancy.

How did my wife and the lady respond to the frightening pain in the chest? They offered it to God. And they slept. When the lady did not answer the phone, did my wife pray, or did she panic that her prayer had gone unanswered? That’s human. Faith goes only that far.

Faith is a difficult concept to grasp and to experience. “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” (Heb 11:1) Abraham’s faith in God is legendary. It was accounted to him as righteousness. (Gen 15:6). It is that difficult to imbibe and practice.

What was Abraham doing when he got the call? “The LORD had said to Abram, ‘Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you.” (Gen 12:1)

I imagine Abram was at a wedding party like the one Mary, Jesus, and his apostles were at Cana when the wine ran out. (Lk 2:1-12). Somebody whispered in his ear that he was needed elsewhere. Like the wedding scene in Francis Ford Coppola’s The Godfather, when the Godfather, played by Marlon Brando, is called to his room to listen to those who have come to petition him.

So, Abram went, as the Lord had told him; and Lot went with him. Abram was seventy-five years old when he set out from Harran. He took his wife Sarai, his nephew Lot, all the possessions they had accumulated and the people they had acquired in Harran, and they set out for the land of Canaan, and they arrived there. (Gen 12:4-5)

Where was Moses when God called him to return to Egypt to lead God’s people out?

One day Moses was taking care of the sheep and goats of his father-in-law Jethro, the priest of Midian. He led the flock across the desert and came to Sinai, the holy mountain. There the angel of the Lord appeared to him as a flame coming from the middle of a bush. Moses saw that the bush was on fire but that it was not burning up. “This is strange,” he thought. “Why isn’t the bush burning up? I will go closer and see.” (Exodus 3:1-3)

Where was David when Samuel was sent to anoint him as the King of Israel?

In this way Jesse brought seven of his sons to Samuel. And Samuel said to him, “No, the Lord hasn’t chosen any of these.” Then he asked him, “Do you have any more sons?”

Jesse answered, “There is still the youngest, but he is out taking care of the sheep.” The Lord said to Samuel, “This is the one—anoint him!” Samuel took the olive oil and anointed David in front of his brothers. Immediately the spirit of the Lord took control of David and was with him from that day on. (1 Sam 16:10,11, 13)

A parishioner talking about her recovery from cancer spoke of her prayer life. When the doctor broke the news to her and her family, she accepted it. She had already begun to offer her pain and discomfort before her diagnosis to God to use it for her sanctification. When the news came, she continued to offer it to God. It was painful for her and her family, with three young ones whom she could not bathe or help in any way. The often-scorned mother-in-law in Indian soap operas and from preachers’ pulpits stepped in and helped to take over the family chores while God sped her daughter, ok, daughter-in-law, to full recovery, stem-cell transfusion, notwithstanding. Was it divine grace? Or was the transfusion God’s intervention? Doctors are divided on it.

- Mathew Anthony

In My Weakness, His Strength Is Made Perfect

 

Don’t rue your weakness and consider it burdensome - it may be your greatest strength

Mathew Anthony

just now

September 28, 2026

I am lactose-resistant. So, no milk products, including Cadbury Dairy Milk Chocolate, which I love. To compensate, I nibble on dark chocolate. I am gluten- resistant. No wheat products, including fluffy Kerala parottas, buttery nans, and man’s greatest invention, sliced bread.

Spicy foods trigger acid reflux in me, scarring my throat and oesophagus, leading to cold, cough, fever, and sinusitis. No salty food to control my blood pressure. No sugary food. My palate rebels. No sweets; only boiled Kerala Nendran banana, rich in dietary fibre, vitamins (especially vitamin C and B-complex), and minerals like potassium, magnesium, and iron.

I am a picture of pity to those who live to eat. I eat to live to be alive.

I am not starving to death. Prophet Jeremiah would have, if not for Ebed-Melek, who interceded with the king and had Jeremiah lifted out of the cistern with ropes tied under his arm. Jeremiah was probably sent down naked into the cistern and must have been big-built.

They took Jeremiah and put him into Malkijah, the king’s son, cistern in the courtyard of the guard. They lowered Jeremiah by ropes into the cistern; it had no water, only mud, and Jeremiah sank into the mud. But Ebed-Melek, a Cushite, an official in the royal palace, heard they had put Jeremiah in the cistern. “My lord the king, these men have acted wickedly in all they have done to Jeremiah the prophet. They have thrown him into a cistern; he will starve to death when there is no longer any bread in the city.”

Then the king commanded Ebed-Melek the Cushite, “Take thirty men from here with you and lift Jeremiah the prophet out of the cistern before he dies.” So Ebed-Melek took the men and went to a room under the treasury in the palace. He took some old rags and worn-out clothes from there and let them down with ropes to Jeremiah in the cistern. Ebed-Melek the Cushite said to Jeremiah, “Put these old rags and worn-out clothes under your arms to pad the ropes.” Jeremiah did so, and they lifted him out of the cistern. And Jeremiah remained in the courtyard of the guard. (Jer 38:6-13)

In Jeremiah’s weakness, Ebed-Melek’s Godly purpose was perfected.

I thank God for his small mercies. I weigh under 60 kgs and I am healthy. I am immunised by my diet from `cold, cough, fever, or attacks of sinusitis, which were rampant for a good part of my life, not to mention bronchitis, asthma and attendant ailments, until I was diagnosed with all these constraints that turned out for my good.

My teaching voice returned. I can address a class without a mic. I accompany the church choir in thanksgiving with resounding praises of Him who blessed me. As a metaphor, sugar is sin. Salt is preserved grievances. Spice is gossip - all abhorrent to God.

“When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, yet it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue is also a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.” (James 3: 3-6)

I praise God, for I am part sanctified by my constraints. The rest is a work in progress. We want to be Sylvester Stallone of Rocky Balboa fame, running up ‘The Steps’ of the Philadelphia Museum of Art in the movie Rocky. Do we want Stallone’s difficult childhood, with abusive and neglectful parents, which motivated the tough-guy image Stallone showed to the world? The linguist Shashi Tharoor stammered, slurred, and mumbled, like Stallone, in childhood. He could not make friends. Books became his friends and grew his intellect and his commanding personality. “In my weakness, His strength is made perfect. (2 Cor 12:9).

My wife was telling me yesterday about the spiky green fruit with creamy white flesh that tastes like a blend of strawberry and pineapple with subtle sour citrus notes, a sapling of which she had salvaged from a park and planted in our garden: the soursop plant is now heaving under the abundance of its fertility, with every branch carrying a litter of the fruit.

Soursop, also known as graviola or guanabana. Looks intimidating with its thorny exterior, but inside it hides a treasure trove of exceptional health benefits:

It boosts the immune system; it is rich in antioxidants to combat free radicals; it may possess anti-cancer properties; it contains anti-inflammatory compounds; it supports digestive health; it regulates blood sugar levels; it promotes heart health; it may aid in pain relief; it is a potential drug for anti-bacterial and anti-parasitic effects; it supports healthy skin; it helps fight against stress and improves mood; it may assist in weight management; it is an excellent source of energy; it supports bone health; has the potential for liver protection; it combats insomnia and protects sleep; it may help treat cancer; also acts as a natural diuretic.

Some people are like the Soursop fruit. Thorny on the outside, soft and cuddly on the inside. To his detractors, Jeremiah was thorny on the outside. For God and his allies, Jeremiah was soft, caring, and faithful to his mission.

“I brought you into a fertile land to eat its fruit and rich produce. But you came and defiled my land and made my inheritance detestable”, says the Lord (Jer 2:7). It was laid on Jeremiah’s broad shoulders to give the bad news about Babylonian exile to the people, for which he was punished most severely by the recalcitrant people … and sanctified.

- Mathew Anthony

Let Your Yes Be Yes and Your No Be No

Be at peace, whatever the call you take, don’t confuse others and yourself

Mathew Anthony

23 hours ago

September 27, 2026

This morning, a hangover from the previous night, was such a Yes/No decision.

A friend of my wife called to say she was having severe chest pain. This lady lives on the opposite end of the city. My phobia kicked in. I don’t like long car journeys, especially in a city notorious for traffic snarls that only an ambulance with its screeching siren can wedge its way through.

I suggested to my wife to inform some of our relatives in the area from which the lady called to look in on the person. If it is a serious issue, then do the needful. If, by the time the 911 relative team arrives at this person’s home, and she is sitting pretty and in the prime of health save for a panic attack or a bad case of gas, wish her goodnight and come home. Apologies in advance for the inconvenience.

With this sage advice, I retired to bed for day-end reflection and priming myself on the Church Missals of the next day. At 4 am I was awake to attend the first Mass of the 26th Sunday in Ordinary Time at 6 am. My wife charged into the room, saying the late-night caller was not answering the phone. While awake at 4 am, it was “a-bit-of-both” mind fog answer that my son, who works night shift, gave me when I asked him, “Are you waking up or going to sleep?”

My wife said, “I am going across town to her place.” I asked my wife to call up our relatives who live nearby and ask them to check on this person. So, she called a poor blighter at 4 am and he actually answered the phone. Amazing people keep their phone up all night. The rest is a blur for me. Perhaps my wife and this person, who did not know the address of the late-night caller, agreed to rendezvous at a known place and proceed from there. My wife asked me to come. I said, no. Not without a plan.

I asked my wife if we could get hold of this lady’s brother-in-law, who is a doctor, and the lady’s sister who stayed nearby, to check on her. My wife said she does not have the number, despite asking this lady on many occasions to share their number in case of exactly this kind of emergency. The lady would not share. I don’t wish to speculate why or why not. It is a meaningless pursuit.

I asked my wife again, “What is your plan”? My daughter, who had once booked an Uber for this lady, was awakened to get the exact address. Then one could Google search and get hold of someone’s number in that condo and alert them that we are dealing with this issue.

My resistance to my wife wanting to go there had to do with the three possibilities: one, the lady was fine, in a deep sleep and therefore not answering the phone. Two, the lady had got through to the doctor or her sister (she had tried them before calling my wife), and they had finally responded. And all was well. If not, the doctor would have hospitalised her. All may not be great, but at least under the control of her closest relative and a medical professional. Three, she had succumbed to the heart attack and was lying comatose at home. This lady lived alone.

Once again, I asked my wife, “What’s our plan?” The first two scenarios were good news, so not a concern. What about the morbid scenario? If we reach her place and she does not answer the door or her phone? What were we going to do? Break down the door? Wake up the neighbours? Call the police? My wife and my daughter answered, “We will worry about it then.”

My daughter, a sensible girl, had decided I was not being helpful, but full of excuses, unwilling to make the transatlantic trip to accompany my wife on a mission of love and service. She was partly right. They went their way. And I went my way to attend the Eucharistic Celebrations. In my heart, the solution to this dilemma lay in the Good Lord’s hands. Better for me to spend time in prayer, let the morning break, and whatever is to be will be.

Unlike my night owl son or the poor blighter who was woken up at 4 am, I switch off my phone before entering the House of God. It helps me only a little. I am distracted by the messages on the phone on the pew in front of me; it is on silent, but the messages flash, vibrate, and beg to be seen. I am conflicted. To see or not see? I don’t succumb to the temptation.

Instead, I focus on the Gospel Reading from Matthew 21:28-32, The Parable of the Two Sons. The vineyard played a significant role, laden with deep spiritual meaning for the Israelites, led out of Egypt into the Promised Land, a wasteland that God transformed for His chosen:

“You transplanted a vine from Egypt; you drove out the nations and planted it. You cleared the ground for it, and it took root and filled the land. The mountains were covered with its shade, the mighty cedars with its branches. Its branches reached as far as the Sea, its shoots as far as the River.” (Ps 80:8-11)

The parallel is about our relationship with our heavenly Father. The first son had a relationship. He said no to his father, but on reflection he agreed to go into the vineyard to work. The second son formerly said, “Yes, sir”, but did not go. He clearly had issues with the father or himself. Neither was anything laudable like the first son’s about-turn.

Now I wonder about my relationship with my wife. My daughter said, “Yes”, and she went. I said “No” and stayed back to go to Church. Putting reason above “going there and figuring it out.” I will forever be conflicted with the decision. Unsure I did the right thing by going to Church instead of accompanying my panicking wife, despite my daughter being with my wife.

When I switched the phone on after Mass, there was a message from my daughter and wife. They were in the house with the lady - in poor or good health, I still don’t know. No more messages for me to confirm to you. When my wife comes back, will it be the vineyard or the backyard for me? Only God knows.

- Mathew Anthony 

The Fatted-Calf Syndrome

 

It leads to tepidness

Mathew Anthony

just now

September 26, 2026

A child came of age in conflict and irreconcilable differences with his parents. In such an environment, the siblings too had to take sides because of the belligerence of the parents and their ‘troublesome’ son.

In such a murky situation, children flee their home at the slightest opportunity to spare themselves the war of attrition. Who can bring the other person to heel, not heal, which, of course, is the need of the hour. In the fog of war, both sides are blindsided.

It is common in most families where family prayer is uncommon. More accurately, family prayer becomes uncommon as children grow up. They develop ‘passions’ parents cannot relate to and will not share with parents because not everything is above board.

The children who join the family prayer find merit in it. It is their time not only with God but with the family. A family is the only unit in the universe bound by blood to perpetuity. If not fractured by irreconcilable differences.

Outside of the evening prayer, the children are at work or at play. They are financially independent. They develop a “have money, will travel” attitude. Then, as God ordained, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Gen 2:24). Now they are literally in another orbit.

Outside of a fractured family, the interaction with parents can become more intense, especially between a daughter and her mother, exchanging recipes and updates on what’s happening in the new family, perhaps with a child or two, until the young mother is no longer young and her children have begun to cleave to their spouses. The mother has grown short of hearing or sight and is living with one of her children or independently. The circle of life that keeps the universe together, and the family, until some star decides to flee the orbit.

This star, who had irreconcilable differences with his parents, found himself decoupled from the family, like a railway bogey, shunted into the yard, to rejoin another train based on the child’s vaunted destination.

The child had come of age. The parents were getting on in age. This particular situation of irreconcilable differences is often about inheritance and independence. Remember the Prodigal Son. He wanted out. (Lk 15: 11-32) Pops, he said, give me the property while I am young so that I can do something with the inheritance. He did do something with it. Ground it in the pigsty and came home with his tail between his legs.

The father, like God the Father, was merciful and waited for the day his son would come back to join the family prayer. There was some collateral damage. The elder son was furious.

What kind of dad is this? I do all the work; I get nothing. This good-for-nothing grinds his inheritance to nothingness, and the father has slain the fatted calf the elder son has been eyeing for a long time to party with his friends.

The inheritance-extinguishing son was feted and celebrated because he swallowed his pride, humbled himself, and came back. He knew where his home was. “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Mt 6:21)

The elder son never left his father’s side. He was risk-averse and fatted-calf obsessed. Remember Aaron and the golden calf.

When the people saw that Moses was so long in coming down from the mountain, they gathered around Aaron and said, “Come, make us gods who will go before us. As for this fellow Moses who brought us up out of Egypt, we don’t know what has happened to him.” Aaron answered them, “Take off the gold earrings that your wives, your sons and your daughters are wearing, and bring them to me.” So, all the people took off their earrings and brought them to Aaron. He took what they handed him and made it into an idol cast in the shape of a calf, fashioning it with a tool. Then they said, “These are your gods, Israel, who brought you up out of Egypt.” (Exodus 32: 1-4)

The elder son had lost sight of God and His mercy. Tepidness reigned in his life. “So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.” (Rev 3:16)

The child who had come of age won the battle of attrition. He was given, I suspect, a portion of his inheritance to get him out of his parents’ hair. The child was happy. The parents were happy. The fatted-calf obsession. Each getting what they want.

The nice thing about it, like in any situation, is the pause in hostility. It gives each side space to go back to the drawing board and redraw the relationship, now gone sterile. Cannot bear fruit. But nature has a surprising way of bringing to life what had perished. The soursop tree in our garden is an example. So is the pepper tree.

Hope does burn eternal. Preserve the wick; the sapling. Don’t destroy. So, with the family. Whatever the turbulence. Pause helps. Reset, restart, fire it up. To glow, not to incinerate.

^“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Relent, Lord! How long will it be? Have compassion on your servants. Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, for as many years as we have seen trouble. May your deeds be shown to your servants, your splendour to their children. May the favour of the Lord our God rest on us; establish the work of our hands for us—yes, establish the work of our hands.” (Ps 90: 12-17)

- Mathew Anthony

Will We Have Treasure in Heaven?

Yes, through the sanctification of the other and self

Mathew Anthony

35 minutes ago

September 25, 2026

Scholarships we obtain in secular studies launch us into practical careers. Some become owners or decision-makers who pay themselves handsomely but shortchange their workers. We then look for another job for better compensation. This cycle repeats until we choose to retire. Likewise, homemakers attend to chores, a clean house and a well-fed family.

We live an embodied life that one day will cease. On that day, we will either carry scars of a hard life or the look of a Hollywood diva: blemish-free, dewy, flawless, fresh, glowing, satiny, or somewhere in between because we have been so blessed.

Life comes at a cost; man strives all his life to balance the books to stay out of debt.

What about the spiritual world? In the spiritual world, we leave the temporal behind. We cast our burden on Jesus and His promise to those who follow Him.

Peter answered him, “We have left everything to follow you! What then will there be for us?” Jesus said to them, “Truly I tell you, at the renewal of all things, when the Son of Man sits on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first.” (Mt 19: 27-30)

In effect, the life of a spiritual person is shorn of possessions except what is on the person. Not even a pair to change into. But a spiritual person is empowered with supernatural gifts to cast out demons and raise the dead, and natural authority to heal the sick. (Mk 6: 7-13)

That is a giant leap to take for someone who has everything except what money cannot buy. Just then a man came up to Jesus and asked, “Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?” Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” (Mt 19: 16,21,22)

Those reading this reflection (and me) have not sold our possessions and given to the poor, so what happens to us? Will we not have treasure in heaven?

We have a different ministry. While the spiritual person concerns himself with prayer, fasting, administering the sacraments to the flock - the faithful - as a priest or religious, or doing charitable work or work of building the human mind and spirit as an educator, the family man too is entrusted with the duties of caring for the physical, emotional, and psychological needs of the flock of his faithful - his family, his neighbours, and the larger community that sustains him and his family. As a family man, he needs to observe certain tenets in his relationship with his wife, and vice versa. The responsibility is on the man.

One of the big issues St. Paul speaks of is sexual immorality that was rampant among the Corinthians. A healthy family life saves a man and the woman from this grave sin. When infidelity and sexual immorality enter a sacramental married life, it manifests in several other deviant behaviours, from lying to the spread of communicable diseases, secrecy, and aberrations in the management of the family savings. The seed of depravity is sown; it is generational.

In a healthy family life, St Paul says, each is a source of spiritual strength to the other.

To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. If a woman has a husband who is not a believer and is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. (1 Cor 7: 12-14)

The hallmark of a healthy family life is peace in the home:

But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. (1 Cor 7: 15)

Will we who have not sold our possessions have ‘treasure in heaven’?

How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches. (1 Cor 7: 16-17)

Increasingly, we are having interfaith marriages. Bollywood symbolises it most, with leading actors in interfaith marriages that work for them. Shah Rukh Khan and Gauri Khan are a prime example of a healthy interfaith marriage with three children - no acrimony has been reported by the ravenous media vultures. However, some dispensationalists make an issue of it for their own bigoted reasons.

When such marriages fail, they are attributed to interfaith marriage. To what should failed marriages among Christians be attributed? God? Or individuals’ inability to give of themselves to others. To use suffering as a means of sanctification of the other. Marriages fail for many reasons. On top of the heap is sheer selfishness. Marriages survive because one partner is willing to be a punching bag, using that as a prayer for the other person’s salvation. In that we have treasure in heaven.

- Mathew Anthony