Monday, July 20, 2020

What makes for good listening?


Here are my thoughts (hope you're listening): 


1.      Switch off your mobile and put it on mute or insulate yourself and the speaker from all forms of distraction as best as you can
2.      Make eye contact with the person; don't stare at the person
3.      Let your posture suggest you have all the time in the world
4.      When someone interrupts please ask them to wait unless the office is burning down
5.      Let the expression on your face reflect the emotions being expressed by the person (I mean don't grin when the person is talking about her pain
6.      When you have not understood something ask the person to repeat or clarify so that you have understood the person fully and correctly
7.      Know when the person has finished speaking
8.      State your reaction to what the person has said: Interesting; wonderful, shocking; fascinating; enlightening...
9.      Follow it up in line with whatever expression you used; if shocking: so, what happened finally...
10.  Resist the temptation to tell your own story of worse things or better things that have happened to you; instead ask the person to elaborate further to conclude the subject including any suggestions or advice; the end goal is to convey to the person that he or she has been heard and understood, and importantly, it was not a waste of time for the speaker or the listener ("thank you for trusting me to share your pain...); as simple as that

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